These are questions I have been asked by readers, both on the forum section of this website, and in the private e-mails I have received. I will add to them as more questions are asked.
Q. Are you still in contact with Robin Royston?
A. Yes, I consider Robin a really good friend, and we remain in contact by e-mail and the odd telephone call.
Q. What is Robin Royston doing now?
A. As well as accompanying people on their ‘goat tracks’, Robin is now working on a book that explores the link between dreams and illness. He thinks it may be more of a scientific book rather than a ‘popular’ read – but I have read the synopsis, and found it fascinating.
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My Family
Q. What do your husband and children think of you being famous?
A. Because 'Out of the Dark' is only coming to America next spring, this has not really affected us yet. However, my family are all very supportive and proud that our story is known in many places. We often receive e-mails from friends and relatives who have seen the book in airports, which is very exciting!
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My Father
Q. Did you ever make your father aware of your memories of Maple Avenue?
A. Yes. It was difficult, as his health was failing. I just told him, very briefly, what I had remembered, and asked him if he had known about any of it. He said that he had not known about me, but that our mother was very weak where men were concerned, and was easily influenced by those she became infatuated with. He said what I told him fitted in with certain things that had happened around that time.
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About the Book
Q. Do people treat you differently since the book came out?
A. When they first find out I have written a book they do but, as Gary says (Gary's answer can be seen in the 'Question and Answer' subject, in the 'Forum' section of my website), I'm pretty much the same person I was before I wrote the book, and they soon realize that!
Q. Do you feel that you have changed since the book came out?
A. The book has given me a great sense of achievement, and more confidence, but most of my time is still spent in solitary pursuits like painting, calligraphy and writing. I love meeting people, and getting together with friends, but I think I'll always be someone who needs a lot of solitary time and space.
Q. Lots of people from all walks of life will read it, how does this make you feel?
A. Amazed. The sad fact of life is that many of the subjects that are dealt with in my book, are experiences that a lot of people from all walks of life have had to deal with at some time or another. Child sexual abuse, divorced parents, violence in a marriage, alcoholism in a spouse, being widowed, and, in particular, depression, are all experiences that know no boundaries, and a lot of people therefore identify with some aspect of my story. It makes me feel absolutely wonderful when people write and say that 'Out of the Dark' has given them hope, because this is why the book was written.
Q. What happened to Linda McCormack?
A. Linda McCormack died after a very brave fight against cancer. When she was taken to hospital, I kept in touch with her through Robin. Calling her to say goodbye when I knew that her death was imminent was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Knowing me as well as she did, she could hear that I was trying to hide how upset I was feeling. Lying in hospital, just days before she died, Linda asked me if I was going to be okay. I told her I was going to miss her terribly, but reassured her that I am strong now, and would be okay. I still miss Linda, and wish things could have been different, but the pain of initial grief has been replaced by love, great appreciation, and joy that I knew her.
Q. Do you feel an invasion of privacy or that you help a lot of them?
A. I love the fact that the book seems to have helped a lot of people and given them hope, in the same way that other people's stories gave me hope when I was struggling. Also, that it has allowed this website and forum to be formed, giving people a place to connect with, and encourage, each other. I don't feel an invasion of privacy, but I do find that I'm spending a lot of my time trying to find ways to develop this site and encourage people to use the forums more. This would enable them to 'meet' each other, and I would be able to join them whenever I can. At the moment a lot of people are writing to me privately, and I'm falling more and more behind in trying to reply. I know when 'Out of the Dark' comes to America, it will be virtually impossible for me to reply to everyone privately, so I need to work out how I will deal with this. I can hear Gary saying 'Moma, just don't write a book every time you reply. If you just write less, you'll be able to catch up with your letters...'
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Forgiveness
Q. Have you forgiven the people who abused you, both when you were a child and when you were an adult in Los Angeles? If you have, how did you manage to?
A. Yes, I have forgiven them. My Christian faith helped me. I'm not a goody two shoes, and forgiveness sometimes does not come easy to me. Whenever I struggle with issues of forgiveness, I think through what is going to happen to the person who has caused the hurt. It always boils down to this: If the person becomes a Christian, the enormity of the pain they caused will eventually be made known to them by the Holy Spirit. They will have to work it through before God, repent and ask God's forgiveness. This really hurts - I know because I have had to do it personally, many times. If the person does not become a Christian before they die, they will be judged for all they have done. It would be absolutely terrifying to stand before God with eternity ahead of you, and realise it's too late to ask for forgiveness. When I think of these two scenarios I find myself feeling sorry for the person I am trying to forgive - and invariably this makes me end up praying for them. Also, more selfishly, I forgive for myself. The gift of being 'old and full of years' (I love the way the Bible describes ageing!) is being able to look back and ponder on things. The Bible talks about not allowing the root of bitterness to grow in our lives. I know from experience that when I do not let things go, they DO take root, and I begin to become bitter, cynical and resentful. So I tell myself that I will not allow that person to take up/affect any more of my life, and I try to turn it over to God. Some things take longer to work through and let go than others - forgiveness is an act of will, and can be an ongoing process. This all sounds very 'preachy'. I don't mean it to be - it's just a really important subject to me.
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